When I say "marriage" what I don't mean is that which is discussed continuously today as a moral and political conversation (ie, what is marriage?). What I do mean is books on how married couples can build a God-honoring and Christ-exalting marriage from day one, on the principals their Creator designed for them to flourish.
Marriage
-John Piper's This Momentary Marriage--this book is simply the best I've read on the Christian view of marriage. Anyone who's read Piper knows that his pages are saturated with Scripture, not in a forced way, but in a way that shows he only sees the world through the lens of the Bible. The best books are those where the writer writes on a topic with the intent of simply showing what God's Word says about it. The title suggests Piper's main point throughout: marriage is intended to be a temporary covenant to be enjoyed while preparing us for the final Marriage of Christ with His Church. Being a Reformed Baptist, Piper has many opponents, but I would encourage everyone to give this title a try. I use it for premarital counseling. It's short and accessible. Each chapter begins with a quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer (which is always a treat).-Tim and Kathy Keller's The Meaning of Marriage--a little larger in size than Piper's, the Manhattan pastor and his wife wrote this together to provide the theology (the Biblical definition) behind a healthy marriage. I don't own this title, but I've read much of it at bookstores and recommend it anyway. Keller is known for writing in an engaging way that communicates deep truths to the post-modern mind that not used to going deep.
-Les and Leslie Parrott's Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts--this was the book I read in my pre-marital counseling. I liked it because the book is written answering 7 important questions that every marriage "candidate" should ask themselves before tying the knot. The questions are pointed at the individual before the married couple (ie, relating to the marriage myths, communication, commitment, etc.).
-Eric Mason's Manhood Restored: How the Gospel Makes Men Whole--I know this seems like an odd choice, but it actually was an obvious one for me. Most often the problem with marriage is men having lost a sense of what it means to be a man as God defines it (if they ever had it begin). Surely marriage is between two sinners in need of grace, but we all know us men need more of it a) because we're stupid, and b) because we're called to rise up, lead, and represent God as husbands/fathers. Mason (in this his first book) deals very well with the Bible's definition of manhood, and Manhood will help any marriage almost as much as any marriage book.
-(for other helpful "manhood" titles, see also John Eldredge's Wild at Heart, Stephen Arterburn's Every Mans Battle series, Darrin Patrick's The Dude's Guide to Manhood, and Piper and Wayne Grudem's Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.)
Ministry
-Mark Dever's 9 Marks of a Healthy Church--this book changed my whole thought-process regarding what Christian ministry is. The title itself almost turned me away (as it sounded cliche and sales-driven), but through wise counsel from a good friend, I started reading, and my whole paradigm was shattered, with a new one set in its place. Dever (rightly) assumes that one's theology drives their ministry, and so one must have a proper understanding of God, man, sin, Christ, the Church, the Kingdom, repentance, etc. in order to be a minister of the Gospel. This is why "Mark 1" is "Expository Preaching"--the preaching of the pages of Scripture, verse-by-verse. He even says in this first chapter, "if you only read one chapter in this book, make this the one, and the rest will follow". This is because if a church has the Bible open, not skipping over any verses (ie, ones that may be difficult to swallow), the same Word of God that created all things and calls sinners to Christ will build the Church healthy on a solid foundation. Almost every "mark" is theological in nature (Biblical conversion, Biblical theology, Biblical eldership, Biblical Church membership, etc.). Like Piper, as a Reformed Baptist, Dever has many opponents, and he doesn't pull any punches with his theology in 9 Marks (which incidently has become the name of His inter-church organization).-Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Life Together--as with many other readers, this book brought me an incredibly richer understanding of the communal aspect of the Church (and by that I mean the communal nature of the Church--it is communal). This was written to crush any notion of individual stardom among Christians in community, save that which belongs to Christ. The rest of us are to exercise mercy, truthfulness, and grace, as He does with us (and this communal commitment is often the means through which Christ gives it to us). One could argue that this was the best book Bonhoeffer wrote. Short and concise, I've given this book away countless times (okay, maybe like 4 times).
-Kevin Deyoung and Greg Gilbert's What is the Mission of the Church?--as the Western world continues to shift cultures, the new definitions of the Church's mission actually aren't new at all, but the dividing lines drawn by them are making it more and more difficult to discern what exactly is the Church's true mission. Deyoung and Gilbert masterfully write to show from Scripture that the mission of the Church is to proclaim the Gospel and bear witness to Jesus' Kingdom, period. This doesn't exclude ministries of mercy, age-focused ministries, etc., but rather this defines what the end of those endeavors should be: the Gospel and repentance into Christ. All that the Church does is to be focused on bringing people to know Christ (or else our endeavors will only be helping people into acquiring, at best, perishable riches).
-Alexander Strauch's Biblical Eldership--the New Testament makes clear at several points that each Church body is to be led by qualified men who take it upon themselves to shepherd, oversee, and serve first. Strauch wrote his book to define what an elder is, what ministry in the Church is, and how the first fits into the context of the second, and vice-versa. The reason I include this in my "ministry" list is that a Church body needs to know what God's Word says about leadership, because "when there is no vision, the people cast off restraint" (Proverbs 29:18). Many churches don't have "elders" per se, and many denominations don't adhere to that model. While I do know that Jesus builds His Church and does bless these churches and denominations, I believe individual church eldership to be Biblical and a true mark of health without which much fruit can (and will) be missed.
Thank you for reading! Grace and peace in Christ
Scott
