Whatever It Takes

(this is a long one, again; sorry)
Whatever It Takes
Along with being the title to one of my favorite Lifehouse songs, this has become a prevalent line in many of my prayers for non-believers and believers alike. As I pray for more and more people to truly be brought face to face with the glory of the Living God, I recognize I'm praying for something that is a) atypical compared to many of our prayers, and b) atypical compared to what many of us say when someone asks us "how can I pray for you?".
I've wondered why this is over the years, and specifically why it's this way with me much of the time, and I believe it's because most of the time I truly think that my greatest need is for (fill in the blank) to happen, with the 'fill-in-the-blank' not usually having anything to do with being brought up under the glory of God. As the Holy Spirit, by God's grace alone, has brought this realization to the forefront of my mind, I've been both convicted and humbled to know that even in my prayer requests, I'm missing the mark of God's holiness.
In the famous part of Acts 9 that tells of Saul's (later Paul) conversion, the part that always made me skeptical that this was just a fairy-tale Sunday school/VBS story was the fact that he was blinded until eventually some fish scales fell from his eyes (9:18). What? Why would fish-scales fall from his eyes?, I've asked in reserved skepticism. At best this is surely an add-in from the author to make the story more palatable to children who need images in order to stay engaged to the story...if the story is even TRUE, I've stated.
This of course, until I realize what has just happened to Saul. As a hardcore Jewish Pharisee who persecutes and murders those men and women who proclaim that the crucified Jesus of Nazareth rose from death because He's God like He said He was, the idea that he would eventually become one of them seems like the silliest and most far-fetched idea Luke's Acts narrative could possibly have happen next.

But then it happened. Saul is on his way to Damascus to persecute and kill more Christians who profess that Jesus is Lord, when he is suddenly struck to the ground, and this Jesus Himself asks him "Saul, why do you persecute me?" (9:4). Interestingly, Jesus doesn't ask why Saul persecutes Jesus' followers, or why he persecutes Jesus' people. He asks him why he persecutes Him. Why? Because Jesus' resurrected body is now in two places: at God's right hand in Heaven(Matthew 26:64, Hebrews 8:1), and in the Church on Earth (Ephesians 1:22-23, 5:22). Apparently, in hurting and murdering Christians, Saul had been hurting and murdering Jesus. But since Saul clearly doesn't trust in or have regard for the faith the Christians have, this wouldn't strike Saul if just anyone said it.
But it was Jesus that said it. And right on the spot, Saul calls Jesus "Lord" (9:5). Now Saul asks Him who He is, so we can clearly deduce that he isn't aware that the obvious 'Lord' he was talking to was Jesus Himself. Many people, even those who knew Jesus personally, didn't recognize His resurrected body, and Saul was no exception. But then Jesus tells Saul who it really is, and the story doesn't have Saul saying anything more after that. All we see is Saul being blinded by the light, and sent into the city, where he will await further instructions.

We then find out in 9:10 that a man of God named Ananias was called to reach out to Saul, explain to him that he's a chosen instrument of Jesus the Risen Lord, and Ananias has to put his hands on Saul so that he'll receive the Holy Spirit. Ananias, eager to be used by God, uses the same phrase Isaiah did when God called him, "Here I am, Lord", and he does it. As Ananias prays over Saul, the scales fall from his eyes and he receives the Holy Spirit which, just like with the Christians in Acts 2, causes him to start making much of the glory of God in the face of Jesus for all to see and hear, no matter who they are.

You may wonder, "Okay, but what about the scales? That's still wierd." Granted, it is. But what's wierder: the Living God converting a man who hated Jesus into a man who worships Jesus, or that man having 'something LIKE' fish-scales fall from his eyes? Or what about the fact that Saul was blind in the first place after he saw Jesus? Why was Saul blinded?
Because God does whatever it takes to make one of His sons or daughters trust in Him totally.
Repeatedly throughout the Bible, the case is the same: Abraham has to be willing to sacrifice his own son on an altar before he realizes he can truly trust in God. Jacob wrestles with God and suffers an injury so that his stubbornness will finally be tamed enough to trust God. Isaiah had to be confronted with his own sinfulness before he trusted God's goodness enough to be sent out to minister. Jesus' disciples have to spend three years following Jesus around and learning the Gospel, failing in faith continually, before they finally trust in God enough to be Gospel ministers who Jesus uses to build His Church (Peter even denies Jesus the night before He's crucified...Peter was a failure to the end, but Jesus loved him to the end (John 13:1). And it doesn't stop with them. Now, Saul, proud of his Jewish heritage (as he should be) and satisfied of his own great and wonderful accomplishments, had to be stopped dead in his tracks, and blinded and immobilized for three days before he was ready to go out and minister. Then he immediately begins preaching the Deity of Jesus: Acts 9:20-21--"and immediately he proclaimed Jesus in the synagogues, saying, 'He is the Son of God'. And all who heard him were amazed and said, 'Is not this the man who made havoc in Jerusalem of those who called upon this name (Jesus)?'"

If you're a Christian who truly trusts in Christ for everything in your life from first to last, you know that it takes a lot for God to truly get your heart. You also know that many of your earlier times "being a Christian" weren't times when God truly had your heart, but rather were times where you felt you had GOD'S heart, and you self-righteously still lived to worship yourself, as you assumed God worshiped you, too.
I'm convinced that if Saul would have jumped up and began preaching right there on the spot of seeing Jesus, he would have hung onto his self-righteousness as he preached the Gospel, which would have probably made for him not preaching the REAL Gospel ever. Of course, we know the story that Saul's name was changed to Paul, he planted churches everywhere, mentored pastors and elders like Timothy and Titus, and wrote almost half of the books of the New Testament. So what happened, and why was he always so zealous for the Name of Jesus Christ and so unconcerned for his own name, like he had been before?
It's because he saw the risen Christ who died for his sins when he saw the risen Christ who is Creator and Sustainer of all things, and this risen Christ in His glorious goodness and power will take someone's eyesight if it means humbling them for the ministry of proclaiming His glory. That's why Paul famously said in Philippians 3:8-9, "I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ." He said it because it's infinitely better to live with Jesus on your horizon, than with anything else on the horizon, and Paul knows, because he's been to both extremes.

All people worship something--whatever it is that gets you out of bed in the morning, and whatever thought or hope it is that keeps you working THIS job or living in THIS house or studying THIS topic, we all worship SOMETHING. Paul worshiped himself. But when he encountered Jesus, he began worshiping Jesus. And the necessary first step was for him to be immobilized and shown how un-powerful he really was.

The temptation for Christians often is to think that if they receive Christ or if they're baptized or if they read their Bibles or if they pray hard enough, God is OBLIGATED to do for them whatever it is they want Him to do. That's why many people get baptized or get zealous for God, and then fall off the radar of their church for months, years, or decades: because they thought God was supposed to give them what they wanted and make their lives easier.
But in Paul's case, as in the case of anyone in the Bible who was brought to God's feet, the person had to suffer some sort of debilitating or excruciating loss in order to be counted as "one of God's".
The reason for this is that, as John Calvin has rightly said, "the human heart is an idol factory" and our idols follow us into our conversion to Christianity, if God doesn't squash them. Not unlike cancer patients needing chemotherapy to kill many good cells so that the bad cells die, human beings need the part of their heart that worships idols killed in order for the worship of the idol to cease. This is a painful process, but a necessary one. Maybe you're going through it right now. Many people think that since they're a Christian, they shouldn't have to experience pain, so when the storm comes, they look up at God and say, "seriously?" They don't stop to think that perhaps they're STILL producing idols in their heart and worshiping them, even though Jesus is their Sunday or Wednesday Savior.

Paul knew this. That's why he wrote so adamantly against false worship and selfishness in his letters--because that's a sign of Christ not TRULY being Lord of your life.
Maybe that's why it hurts so bad right now for you. Maybe that's why it's so scary and dark and you don't feel like you'll make it.
But it certainly isn't because God doesn't know pain. At the Cross, God suffered the loss of His only Son who has shared eternity with Him. Where there needed to be a shedding of blood to atone for humanity's idolatry, He brought the blood.
Because God does whatever it takes to get you.