"He who would come after me must deny himself and take up His cross to follow me."
Mk 8:31
If one could keep the commandments of God just by sheer will, the Christ wouldn't have had to go to the cross. But since He did go there, all others who follow Him must go there as well. Following Him there means not just obedience to His command (though it does include this), but it first means acceptance of the fact that sheer will is not enough get there. Rather, we're led and drawn to the cross. Every command of Jesus must be understood in light of the cross, and this means that Christ's righteousness poured out on the believer (through the cross) is what BRINGS them to the place of obedience to the command. This is because they can't be justified/saved/righteous by obedience (they're NOT obedient). They need an initial act on God's part BRINGING them TO obedience. That initial act is Christ going to the cross. Otherwise, the commands are just isolated commands to isolated individuals who, isolated, must decide...CHOOSE...whether or not they'll follow Jesus. But "those who did receive Him..he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, NOT of...the will of flesh or the will of man...but of GOD" (Jn 1:12-13)..."whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out IN GOD" (3:21).
With these words the Scripture imprisons any obedience or following on our part up underneath the gracious work of God first. Perhaps much of Christianity's softness in our time is directly related to the fact that most have refused to come to the cross by accepting that their coming is an act of God. And this is certainly also the reason for much of Christianity's hardness, too: those who have "come to Jesus" are convinced that they were 'good enough' to bring themselves to it. If it's about what WE do, then either a) the unbeliever must will their self to be as obedient as I have been, or b) since 'a' is not a very loving perspective, we must just "love" people and not preach the cross. And the Gospel is left out of both scenarios. "When you've lifted up the Son of Man, you will know that I Am Who I Am" (Jn 8:28, Greek). One can only know Christ through the cross, and one can only come to the cross through "the Word of Christ" (Rom 10:17).
"I've obeyed, others haven't, therefore I have room for boasting", some might say (wouldn't SAY, but would certainly FEEL). But this is not in accordance with Scripture. The question is much less about a theological agenda (there is no such thing for those in Christ), but much more about whether or not one has denied one's self completely by coming to the cross completely, "to show that their works have been carried out in God".
In this, those that are in Christ must be humble and gracious, because they know that Christ has been humble and gracious towards them. That which conservatives hate (a lack of costliness in the gospel) is covered by Christ, and that which liberals hate (a lack of love) is covered by Christ. How is this so? In the fact that it is much more about Christ and HIS call, than it is about us.
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