Christmas For the Lonely

Christmas is a joyous time for some and a grievous time for others.  I'm not sure if I'll even say it's a joyous time for "most" and a grievous time for "some", because it seems that there are enough who hurt during this season that the split seems more and more even.

Several reasons are to blame for the latter's pain.  First, Christmas is a family celebration, and while many have family with which to celebrate, some of them are still haunted by the memories of lost loved ones during this time, be it a parent, a sibling, or a child.  Then there are those who have no family with which to celebrate the holiday.  While all of the pageantry surrounding the holiday is constantly advertising family time, those without are only ever reminded of their void.  Secondly, related to the first, some have family but past vocalized paranoias, hateful words, and (seemingly) unavoidable drama have ran a wedge between those connected by blood.  Those who were at one time loved ones have now become avoided ones, although the tears drummed up when the subject is broached proves that the love isn't gone -- just pain has been added.  Thirdly, the holiday season is so entrenched in the cultural celebrations that the real reason is at worst unknown to some and at best an agenda to others.  In other words some are completely unaware of "the reason for the season", and others claim to know it but their legalistic recitation of "Keep Christ in Christmas" is more an agenda than a celebration.  So the idea of Immanuel ("God with us"), itself the hope of Christmas, is never allowed time to sink in for the lost.  The holiday becomes all about the cultural and social celebration, and never about Jesus.

Many feel the pain of having to endure the holidays from the sidelines.  The movies show Christmas sideliners have "happy endings", but in real life the happy ending is only when the season is over.  But there is hope.  Let me offer five (hopefully) encouraging truths:

1.  God sees you.  

Though everyone else's celebrations, meals, giving and receiving of gifts, and posted online pictures may make you feel invisible, know one thing: You're not invisible.  God sees you.  The God of the Bible has His eyes in every place so that even if one tries to hide, they can not (Jeremiah 23:23-24). "Where shall I go from your Spirit?  Where shall I flee from your presence?  If ascend to heaven, you are there!  If I make my bed in Sheol you are there!" (Ps. 139:7-8).  You may feel alone, but you are not.  Though every other face be turned away from you, there is one face that won't be.  He sees you and He know you.

2. God promises to be near to you.

If #1 above was left alone it would convey the idea that God is a security guard who watches us from his heavenly office via security camera.  That isn't the case.  He sees because He's here.  Matthew's Gospel account begins with the promise that the child to be born will be called Immanuel (which means "God with us", Matt. 1:23); Matthew then ends with the risen Jesus telling His disciples He'll be with them until the end of the age (28:20).  For you who are sitting lonely and broken, hear the hope from the Psalmist: "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit" (34:15).  Let these words sink in.  Brokenness doesn't make one unattractive to God, but more attractive.  He's looking for the broken, and He'll even allow brokenness as a means to draw one to Himself (because in our dullness, that's what is often required to draw us!)  Allow your brokenness to draw you near Him.

3. The Kingdom belongs to such as you. 

In one of my favorite quotes from the Lord Jesus, He says, "Blessed are the poor in spirit; for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven" (Matt. 5:3).  The Kingdom of God is His reign through His Son, experienced presently by those with faith and one day in fullness by all who are His.  It is Jesus' Kingdom, and yet, if you are the broken calling on Him for help and grace, it is yours.  What an incredible promise.  Don't pull yourself up by your bootstraps.  Recognize your bootstraps are broken and ask Jesus to make you a new creation.  He will.  As gifts are given this season, know that by faith in Him all spiritual blessings are presently yours (Eph. 1:3), as an eternal inheritance of riches is waiting for you to take hold of one day when He returns (1 Pet. 1:4-5).

4. God came for you.

In the film the Day After Tomorrow (SPOILER ALERT -- although if you have cable surely you've seen it by now) Jake Gyllenhaal is stuck in a New York library study by a fireplace during a sudden ice age, waiting with his friends for his climatologist dad (Dennis Quaid) to come pick him up and save him.  After many days and many deaths, dad shows up, they embrace (ow, I just got something in my eye) and son says, "You came", to which dad responds, "Of course I did!"  

In our brokenness, sinfulness, and hopelessness, God didn't just let us die.  In Christ, He came.  And not only did He come, but He stayed until His work was finished (John 19:30).  And He left His Spirit to those who look to Him for life.  Let your loneliness drive you to faith.  He's promised He'll send His Spirit to us if we ask Him (Luke 11:13), and His Spirit is the Spirit of comfort (Acts 9:31).  He came for you once, and He'll come for you again.

Don't be embittered this holiday season by everyone else's joyful experience though you might be overpowered by your loneliness.  Let the joy of others be your joy.  "Rejoice with those who rejoice" (Rom. 12:15).  I'm excited to see immediate family in about a week, some whom I haven't seen in a year and a half and others for two years.  I'm blessed and I know it.  Will you rejoice with me?  I'm mourning with you today.  

Infinitely more importantly, the Lord mourns with you.  And the most important part of that last sentence is the last two words: With you.  He isn't far off, and you don't have to be alone.  Perhaps this could be the holiday season where you experience for the first time the true meaning of Christmas: In Christ God came, and that to seek and save the lost, to comfort the brokenhearted, and to give new life to the dead.   It's Satan's will for you to play dead this season; but it's God's will for you to have life in Him ... and life abundantly.  Receive the gift!  You're not alone -- God is with us.

Everybody Talk and Nobody Listen

(the title is taken from the lyrics of a Lifehouse song)

21^st century Western culture elevates progress, "advancements" of every kind, and individualism.  That being the case, when a person sees his or her self as part of a humanity that is by definition better than it has ever been, their opinions will be the best ones, with any opposing position being a stupid one worthy of condemnation.  In other words, the age of reason, for all of its good, has made us more proud than we’ve ever been.  Being proud, we love to arrive at conclusions quickly (based on immediately what seems right), put them out there to the world arrogantly, and then respond hatefully when challenged.  We also love to sit behind computer screens and wait for others to put their opinions out there so we can either passionately agree or passionately disagree (and both in haste).

Why does no one ever question his or her self?  I do.  I never trust myself.  I’m questioning myself right now as I’m typing.  You might say I’m over-thinking and being too critical of self.  But maybe you’re under-thinking and not being critical enough of yourself.  I'll unapologetically say that I think I know the Truth about where humanity has come from, where it is going, how humanity will get there, what is wrong us, and what needs to change.  But I only think I know it because it was given me by a God of grace and truth.  I’ve only received truth – I never figured it out (1 Cor. 4:7, 1 Jn. 5:20).  In receiving said truth, there are many facets to it about which I could be wrong.  Thus incredible busy-ness is a convenient (and true) excuse for not blogging more often, when in reality it is nice to not have to worry about throwing my point of view into the Lion’s Den (another word for social media).

Some say all we need is more love and acceptance.  But where does it stop?  Does it stop with murderers and terrorism?  Should we accept and embrace that?  Others say we need more hard truth and repentance.  But does that mean we shouldn’t graciously listen to others who struggle to find truth?  And why do people use any and every high-tension news story, when it’s convenient, as a lightning rod for their political or social agenda?

The problem isn’t Republicans.  Nor is it Democrats.  It isn’t conservatives or progressives.  It isn’t white people and it isn’t black people.  Nor is it religious people or secular people.  The problem is pride, and since there are none immune to it, the problem is everyone.  Pride hardens people and makes them ruthless. Pride blinds people to their need for grace and thus makes them unable to give it to others.  Pride turns people into scoffers who can’t listen to an opposing argument because the person with said argument “must have an agenda.”  Pride makes hypocrites: People who say they’re all about love end up being more hateful than their opponents, and those who say they’re all about moral rightness somehow miss the glaring inconsistencies in their own lives.  Pride elevates the mind of man to the point where he can’t see that his Creator’s rules of logic are the only reason he can think at all.  “Be not wise in your own eyes” (Prov. 3:6).  And then those who know their Creator act like their knowledge of Him was their own doing.  "No one can receive a thing unless it is given him by heaven" (Jn. 3:27).

Enter the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Jesus says that the problem isn’t with a certain kind of people – the problem is with humanity in general.  Humanity is fallen and in need of grace.  Read the New Testament Gospels -- the ones whom Jesus chastises regularly are the ones who refuse to see that all people – not just the outcasts of a then God-conscious society – are sinners in need of grace.  Man is passionate, but his passion needs renewed.  Man is morally responsible but his morality needs renewed.  Man is in God’s image, but man has warped God’s image, and needs to be made new again through God's recreating him back into His own image (John 3:3-5, Eph. 4:24).  The Gospel deals both within and without the individual – in it Jesus says, “I have to make you new, sinner, from the inside out, and I will,” while at the same time He says, “I’ve come to end the hate-race called humanity by giving myself in love for my enemies.”  If you then come to where Jesus died for sin and there die to sin you'll be welcomed in and invited into an eternity of God's love and kindness.  This Gospel is in one sense for everyone, but in another sense it is only for those who are broken (Matt. 5:3), weary (Matt. 11:28), hungry for God’s truth (Matt. 5:6), and longing for grace (Lk. 18:13).  By definition those who know Jesus in truth can’t help but maintain an attitude of humility, even if they have a natural disposition of pride like the rest of mankind.  “Whoever hopes in him purifies himself as He (Jesus) is pure” (1Jn. 3:3).  Over time, by Jesus' grace and power, they'll change to look more like Him.

We wonder why people are offended so easily.  It is because man is so turned in on himself today that his own worldview and opinions are not to be challenged or questioned.  "I'm enlightened, I've suffered, I've been through things others haven't, so therefore I'm more mature and can't be wrong."  And so he is a ticking time bomb, ready to blow when an opposing view is brought into the light.  Man is so offended because he sits on a seat of pride and sleeps on a bed of pride.  I would say Christians are the worst (because Christians should expect non-Christians to demean Christian things, so why don't we?); but the secular person is just as bad.  Socially, pride is winning.  I keep praying that Jesus continues bringing down the pride of man.  Perhaps a culture which is punching itself out in pride is His means of eventually bringing it down.  

The Pope is not so beloved because everyone considers him to be sitting on Peter's seat.  The majority of the world is not Roman Catholic, and the majority of Christians aren’t.  But the Pope is so beloved because he is an authority figure with a humble disposition.  He doesn’t seem to want to make enemies, but friends, for the sake of redeeming relationships.  “With the humble is wisdom” (Prov. 11:2).  People look to him in appreciation because he appears to have a humble wisdom. (And I don’t believe the Pope is Peter’s successor, nor do I affirm the papacy.  But my point is that people listen to those with authoritative humility, himself being a good example).

Perhaps the key to being listened to is to start listening and stop pointing.  We'd do well to stop immediately grouping everyone else into social sub-cultures without considering they are a person, too.  And as individuals we should stop assuming that all of the problems are everyone else’s fault.  Own your part in it – before you unknowingly contribute to it more.