The Progressive Insurance “Homeowners-Turning-Into-Their-Parents” commercials seem to be polarizing. I think they’re hilarious, and apparently multitudes of people agree, because Progressive has been using these commercials since at least 2020. If you’re unaware these commercials depict millennial homeowners who, supposedly because of their new homeownership, begin to resemble their home-owning Baby Boomer and Generation X parents in their clothing style and social behaviors. We see khaki shorts and white New Balance shoes on the men (along with belt-clipped cell-phone holders), women talking on speaker phone in public, and over-concern for the cleanliness of the property (even the trash cans). Dr. Rick is a therapist who’s life’s work is to help these “young homeowners turning into their parents” to not fall too far into these behaviors, losing their own personalities.
Now I don’t want to criticize too much—the commercials are funny. My wife and I will watch through all of them on Youtube sometimes, along with the best of Steve Harvey hosting Family Feud and the old “I have DirectTV…and I have cable” commercials starring Rob Lowe, Peyton Manning, and Randy Moss. The hard thing about a joke is that even if it’s a subtle “shot” at someone (which it almost has to be in order to be a joke), it’s meant to just show something’s native humor, without marginalizing or insulting the person. In the case of the Progressive commercials, the humor lies in younger folks taking on adult responsibilities and then unavoidably adopting Baby Boomer/Gen-X (but mostly Boomers) behavioral norms, which are funny when compared to Millennial norms (not “worse,” just different).
But this is why the commercials are polarizing: Not everyone likes them. I’ve talked to several Boomers who don’t like the commercials because they feel that they are themselves the butt of the joke. I get it. I just think the commercials are funny, still.
So hopefully you won’t take my point here as a complaint. It’s just an observation which, I think, might point to a larger change that’s happening culturally, and not for the better. More recent Progressive commercials are poking fun at older folks’ (and the young homeowners’) tendency to make friendly small talk. A homeowner is asking his Uber driver how long he’s been Ubering; another one calls the cable company and is on a first-name basis with the customer service rep; and then another is making small-talk with the cashier at the store, all while Dr. Rick is rolling his eyes. It’s all funny! But I wonder if it’s pointing to a larger problematic change: Our dying sociability, and loss of friendliness.
A recent Sunday sermon in 1 Timothy 6:11 had me especially sensitive to the importance of friendliness. Paul, under God’s inspiration, tells Timothy to flee worldly pursuits and instead to pursue “righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, and gentleness.” John Calvin once preached a sermon on this passage in which he summarized Paul’s list as such: Righteousness, godliness, and faith all concern “placing our confidence in God,” and “raising our thoughts to the heavenly kingdom,” while love, patience, and gentleness concern “walking in all good friendship with our neighbors…living in good friendship with each other.”* (Cite Calvin, French Sermons, 1 Timothy 6:11). The word “friendship” can sound a little corny today, and might be a little surprising coming from Calvin’s intellectual and (supposedly) stern pen. But I think he’s onto something: Love requires being a good friend. Just being accessible to our neighbor, treating them the way we’d wish they treat us (Mt.7:12), as such behavior is the fulfilling of God’s Law: “(Such) love does no wrong to a neighbor” (Rom.13:10**). This was a great concern to God under the Old Testament theocracy, him making clear in Leviticus 19 how his people are to love their neighbors: Leave gleanings in your fields for travelers, tell the truth to each other, pay workers fairly, don’t steal, don’t deal dishonestly, don’t lie, don’t oppress anyone, don’t have unjust courts, etc. (Lev.19:9-18).
So all of that said, if we are to think of ourselves as a neighbor and friend to others, how could small-talk be a bad thing, unless it’s done to avoid a more important conversation? I just wonder something about our new “smart” world: Are our devices, which keep us connected to the rest of the world at large, so isolating us from our immediate surroundings that normal conversation is seen as a Boomer practice? Isolation is dangerous (see Prov.18:1) because we’re made for community, and we need both friendship (true friends) and friendliness (true courtesy from strangers). So is it possible that the commercials are unknowingly contributing to deconstruction of in-person community? We talk all the time about the breakdown of the family. I just wonder if we need to talk more about the breakdown of friendliness and friendship. My fear is that the older generations knew how to be friendly, the younger ones don’t, and the commercials are evidence that practical kindness is a dying art, best used now as a butt of jokes.
But maybe…and I’m open to this…I’m just a young homeowner becoming like my parents.
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*Cited as a footnote in Calvin's Commentaries on the Epistles to Timothy, Titus, and Philemon, 1 Timothy 6:11, p.161.
**I added "(Such)" because the love in the verse is describing loving behaviors of 13:8-9, which almost perfectly parallel Jesus' own teaching in Matthew 7.
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